Sometimes we need to clear some darkness so that we can see the light.
I like to talk about all things light and bright, because that's where the purest beauty is. As I heard spiritual teacher Teal Swan say the other day, the light can be intoxicating so it's natural that we would gravitate towards it. There are probably so many people in the world who are not quite seeing it though. Yes, we should reach towards beauty and light, yes, we should strengthen our connection with source, however there may be a significant amount of our baggage, our 'stuff' that is standing in our way. Clearing some of this 'stuff' will help us to reach the next levels of joy and fulfillment in our lives. It will enable us to release some of our heaviness and become lighter.
I think there are many people who are avoiding looking at their baggage for fear of embarking on a path that will require significant amounts of pain or suffering. The thing is though, if we don't look at our stuff we will fail to achieve higher levels of clarity. Life will feel as if we are wading through the murky half-light with packs on our backs. And, the baggage will not only be ours to carry. If we don't lighten our loads, our children will continue to carry that baggage, and so will our children's children. Many people numb themselves with addictions to avoid looking at their stuff. They stay busy to distract themselves. They also maintain superficial relationships with family and friends to avoid allowing their stuff to emerge and cause conflict. The world is, however, fascinated by darkness because people are afraid of the darkness within themselves, and this is seen through the interest in crime fiction, drama, etc. etc. etc.
Numbing ourselves means missing out on the juiciest parts of life. It means living in fear, even if that fear is not consciously acknowledged. And to me, superficial relationships are not worth engaging in. I want deep intimacy and connection with others, and if we are not honest with ourselves we will not be able to be honest with others. The universe gives us the night and the day so that we can learn to embrace both the light and the darkness. The sun makes beautiful things grow, but even in the darkness we have the moon to show us that there is always light. It takes courage to stare naked and afraid into our own darkness, but at the same time, it is an act of self-love, of giving ourselves the opportunity to access life on a deeper and freer level. Our darkness will not multiply if we look at it, rather it will begin to lighten. Sometimes awareness is all that's needed, and often, also, acknowledging our responsibility in the clearing process. We need to accept that this is an inside job that doesn't require anyone else in our lives to change. This is for the brave and bold. It's the hero's journey.
If we think that we don't have darkness, we are in denial of our own reality. We may think that we don't have childhood trauma, however birth can be a traumatic event for babies and also for parents. Many women are experiencing post traumatic stress disorder from childbirth. We take love between parent and child for granted, choosing not to recognise the resentments that can occur when the needs of all family members are not adequately taken care of. Parents have unresolved childhood issues that they bring to the parenting role. Having grown up in cultures of self-sacrifice rather than self-love, we lack the basic awareness that is needed to navigate family relationships effectively. Societal agendas suppress our wellbeing and our being-ness and these play out in school systems and work environments. We accept these without question as being in our best interest. Our cells retain trauma from our ancestors, and our subconscious remembers suffering from past incarnations. We are carrying baggage that we're not consciously aware of, but we see evidence of it throughout our lives.
We may be seeing patterns repeating and creating barriers for us. We may not be allowing abundance for ourselves, in love, in money or in wellness. We may be suffering from imposter syndrome and sabotaging our efforts without understanding why. We may find ourselves looking on as others seemingly enjoy their 'perfect lives', or we may have ticked off all the boxes that society proclaims will make us happy, but still be lacking the joy that we expected to feel. This is because of our stuff, our baggage, our darkness that we have not cleared. On the positive side, though, it is in our power to release all that we are carrying, and never before have there been so many resources available to us in undertaking this process. As discussed in my previous post, Barriers and Limitations, people from previous eras carried their burdens throughout their lifetimes. We, however, have access to information on an unprecedented level, and we are only limited by our choice of whether to face the darkness within ourselves.
If you choose to take this journey of looking within, ensure that you also continue the pursuit of self-love. Remind yourself that you are worthy of the time and space that is needed to fully experience this process. Remind yourself, also, that there will be a positive overflow effect to everyone with whom you come in contact. There may be discomfort, but there will be no downside. It may require high levels of self-care and self-soothing. The inner child will need to be healed. Denying his or her existence will prevent healing from being successful. Think back to your childhood. What did you learn about money, for example, that is stopping you from being financially successful now? Are you having difficulty contemplating a career change? Might you need to expand your perspective regarding work? Are your feelings of limitation standing in the way of you pursuing something that you really want to do? When did you learn that you had limitations? Maybe someone's behaviour is triggering you. Is there something that you need to look at that is causing this trigger?
I think it's common for us to feel that we are not loved, cared for, thought about or considered by others, and these thoughts are sure to trigger and upset us. The more that we can claim this as our responsibility, the lighter we will feel. This aspect of accepting full ownership of our lives might be the most difficult of all. As long as we are at the mercy of others, we remain powerless. When we realize that our happiness is truly within our power, we become empowered. We don't have to live with any feeling of lack or restriction. With awareness and ownership, we can change our lives for the better. Sometimes the trauma and wounding will seem too deep to shift on our own, but they are still worth facing. There are so many types of professionals and healing modalities that we can access to help work through these barriers or issues. It is really just dependent on our commitment to participating in this journey.
Choose to live your life in full, rather than in a state of emotional numbness. Don't be afraid to dig down to the roots of each barrier that you face so that you can unearth its cause. Remember that it is in the darkness that we find the treasures within us, and in the overcoming of the darkness that we develop the empathy that enables us to bring light to others. When we are brave enough to hold space for the darkness within ourselves and within others we become fully rounded people who have so much to offer the world. Take it one small step at a time if you need to, but really feel the feelings that need to be felt. This will expand your capacity to hold those feelings. With time this will become less scary and much less painful. Once these feelings are felt and released you will have the opportunity to experience aspects of life and emotion that you didn't know existed. There is no end to what we can experience, and in this knowledge is the excitement for what is waiting for us on the other side. And remember, with clarity will come greater clarity, so as we become stronger it will be easier to release our 'stuff'. It will become a fulfilling adventure, rather than a struggle. So, next time you bump up against a life barrier or something that triggers your emotions, take some time for reflection. This is how it will start, and the momentum will grow from there. Embrace the journey. Embrace the darkness. Find the light.
For more about barriers and limitations, you can read my last blog article: https://www.pennymuller.com/post/barriers-and-limitations
Teal Swan Official Website. (2021). https://tealswan.com/about-teal/
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